piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize