Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
its liver damage thursday
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
