Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
