I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
She even gives head with a lisp.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
