In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
