We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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