also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
