all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
