Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
