South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Randomize