Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
