I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize