You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
