Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
