Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
