I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
We're too hungover to prance.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
