Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
vagina is talking i cant
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
