it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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