i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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