I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
it's great music for shaving your balls
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
