i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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