i may or may not be watching the land before time
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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