Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
