Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
