used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
i out mim tonsoeep
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