I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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