Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
