My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
