She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Boobs are out for the taking
3 2 1 whiskey
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize