I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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