Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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