We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
