u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
His hands were made for my vagina.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
