ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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