Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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