Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
