we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
