You smell like stripper and shame
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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