yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
