Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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