you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
