I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
