they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
my poor anus
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
