Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
