The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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