dude i'm inner monologue high
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
