I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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