38 yer olds are good kisserssss
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
