you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize