Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize