Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
