this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
