So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
