apparently the secret to your success is patron
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
She just used a chaser for red wine.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
