How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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