The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
