Pregnant stripper...not hot.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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