im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
